1. |
the Beast
04:42
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BENN: I'm tired of seeming lost between hands held tight as I dream of slipping through the cracks. I'm tired of being passed finger to finger through a parade of polite smiles and courteous warfare as the ground falls from under my feet. I can't help feeling I'm being used. And for all my fucking privilege, I can't escape feeling trapped in a small cage.
I hope life's parodies step aside willingly for each bullet I fire through the heart of my reflection. My guard's down, my hands are empty, and everything I once enjoyed has been reduced to a dollar sign lost in the mirror. Help me.
TOM: What are we if we can't own a dedication to our dreams? Our culture stomps its feet on any freedoms we thought we had left, taking ourselves from our hopes, taking ourselves from the things we dream of. They've got you by the bank account. Do we wonder why we pulled the trigger? Could it be we are our own worst enemy? Look what this culture has done to us. Could it be we turned our lives into an interest rate? How interesting.
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2. |
Item #14
04:00
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BENN: Squeezing every red cent from every wallet on legs takes careful thought and perfect planning. No quantity of care can match the methods you've perfected, no quality of thought can detract from your subtle plan, and no level of success that you achieve will ever make you right.
You'll live and die with your conscience. I'll only die with my pride.
TOM: Price tags on public affairs and we thought this was something pure. Learn from examples we set so we'll have a future of politicians. Expendable work force, what purpose do we serve? We're just a budget number to you, just an item number to you.
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3. |
Kanye West Was Right
03:04
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BENN: There's nowhere left for me to go, and I feel like an unwelcome guest. Should I take my shoes off?
TOM: I see a slight discrepancy in this policy. What we want is dignity to know our lives are worth more than dollar signs. Did someone say "must be a better way?" A healthcare system run by greed to serve the interest of some rich man, delayed response that says 1000 words per second. And I just don't understand why this country doesn't see that it depends whose lives are on the line to gauge how quickly they'll react. Does it take one day? Does it take two days? Does it take three days? Not for the world trade center. There's no difference. We will sit and ponder this, another point for the upper class.
VANESSA: Sinking away... you'll lose it all, you'll watch it, you'll feel it, everything sinking away.
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4. |
Alfred Hitchcock
03:52
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5. |
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BENN: Every time I wake one arm lies cradled against the same wall, but I know the path to success is padded with cold routine. Brick by brick I'm building a life, but I haven't found the focus, and I haven't earned the right.
TOM: I want my life back. I want to start again. I hope I'm never this way again; twenty-seven years on autopilot.
VANESSA: Everyday trapped in this flow, coming home so tired, stuck in complacency, waiting. Waiting on something more, expect to be let down this week. Maybe next month. Still we wait. How did we get this old and still not have it figured out? Still writing songs like this, can't keep waiting. And time is running out, we feel like we've been tricked again. There's no reward here. Don't bother waiting. There's got to be something more for me. There's got to be.
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6. |
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BENN: Like a star on the verge of collapse, broadcasting its fate, we sit content to ride the airwaves to their ultimate conclusion. If we devised the theft of light we have no one to blame for the darkness.
TOM: It gets worse with each year: shallow culture, shallow tears, corporate agenda, boardroom sequence, one million children with no ideals. Like a sewer of commercial repeats, our culture is plastic guised as gold. And now it's showing through.
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7. |
Deconstructing the I/It
03:36
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BENN: Setting sail willingly upon a sea of isolation hurts more than any pain I've ever known, but the grip of false hope will kill me. Amidst secret handshakes and severed anchors, I'm finally through with forgiving you.
TOM: I've been spending these years pleasing everyone around me, so fit to take the part (of the bad guy). It's time to change this path of mental hell that uproots madness, and find my place. This is the end of a lifetime, so now I grab the wheel, setting fire to the street. Go ahead and cast a judgment, the stress is lost on me. Psychologically remake my DNA. I'm finally through with forgiving you.
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In First Person New Brunswick, New Jersey
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